middleclasswhitesuburbanmale

STILL POSTED ON THAT BLOCK

WZUP KARMA TO BURN WERE COMIN HERE EARLIER IN THE YEAR BUT THEY CANNED THE SHOWS. I FORGET WHY BUT I THINK IT WAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH A LIVE-ACTION REMAKE OF THAT GUMBY EPISODE WHERE THE YELLOW DINOSAUR DRESSED UP LIKE A DETECTIVE AND HAD A PIPE AND EVERYTHING. I HEARD THAT THE DINOSAUR IS BEING PLAYED BY MIKE ‘STROKER ACE’ COOLEY FROM THE DRIVE-BY TRUCKERS AND KARMA TO BURN WILL BE PROVIDING THE SOUNDTRACK. AMAZING.

ANYWAY, FU MANCHU AND BLACK COBRA WILL COME TO AUSTRALIA INSTEAD. KARMA TO BURN WILL SUPPOSEDLY COME MAY 17-29 AS WELL BUT I DO NOT HAVE THIS INFORMATION FINALISED YET. FU MANCHU + BLACK COBRA IS AN AMAZING LINEUP! MAYBE KARMA TO BURN WILL TOUR WITH THEM. IN MY EYES THAT WOULD GIVE THEM KARMA TO B..NO, SORRY.

FU MANCHU AUSTRALIA TOUR 2012
with Black Cobra & Matt Sonic and The High Times

Sunday 29 April – CherryRock12, Melbourne, VIC
Monday 30 April – The Tote, Melbourne, VIC (with Black Cobra only)
Tuesday 1 May – The Tote, Melbourne, VIC (with Black Cobra only)
Wednesday 2 May – Fowlers Live, Adelaide, SA
Thursday 3 May – The HiFi, Sydney, NSW
Friday 4 May – The HiFi, Brisbane, QLD
Saturday 5 May – The Rosemount Hotel, Perth, WA
Sunday 6 May – The HiFi, Melbourne, VIC
ALL AT THE HI-FI, ALL ~$40.

GOING TO SEE BLACK COBRA IS THE MOST FUN YOU CAN HAVE WITHOUT ONE OF THOSE ARM WAVING LUCK CATS. I LOVE THOSE CATS SO MUCH. IMAGINE IF YOU HAD 19 OF THEM AND YOU TIMED IT SO THEY ALL WAVED DOWN IN A LINE LIKE A BIG MEXICAN CAT WAVE.

YELAWOLF IS COMING TOO AND HE IS A NICE CAUCASIAN FELLOW WITH A SOUTHERN ACCENT KINDA LIKE FOGHORN LEGHORN BUT WITH MORE TATTOOS. LOTS OF CARTOON TALK TODAY BECAUSE…ACTUALLY, I DON’T KNOW WHY. FOGHORN LEGHORN WAS AN OLD FRIEND. MAKES ME THINK OF MINT JULEPS

YELAWOLF AUSTRALIA TOUR 2012

Tuesday March 27 – Capitol, Perth
Wednesday March 28 – Fowlers Live, Adelaide
Thursday March 29 – The HiFi, Brisbane
Friday March 30 – Prince Bandroom, Melbourne
Saturday March 31 – The Metro, Sydney

FUCK WHAT YOU THINK!

GDAY M8Z

GUESS WHO IS BACK IN ALL CAPS? (YOUR FRIEND BOTMAN).

BRISBANE DEATH METAL BAND DEFAMER ARE PLAYING WITH COFFINS WANNABES GxSxD (STANDS FOR GOD SENDS DEATH OR SOMETHING LIKE). THEY ARE OKAY BUT I WOULD RATHER SEE BOLT THROWER COME AND TOUR WITH DEFAMER BECAUSE I THINK IF DEFAMER AND BOLT THROWER PLAYED TOGETHER IT WOULD BE LIKE DIVIDING BY 0 OR DRINKING THE MAKER’S WATER AND YOU WOULD MOVE INTO SOME SORT OF DREAM REALM WHERE YOU CAN SEE ALL PATHS OF CONSCIOUSNESS AND ALSO ENJOY A FAUX-BENE GESSERIT ENLIGHTENMENT. ANOTHER SPANISH HARLEM INCIDENT. WARNING!

DEFAMER HAVE A NEW ALBUM OUT AND IT’S CALLED “DECREPIT RITUALS” AND YOU CAN BUY IT FOR $5 FROM THEIR BANDCAMP. I JUST BOUGHT IT AND SO FAR THE BEST SONG IS ‘RAIN OF BILE’ AND THE SECOND BEST SONG IS ‘TEMPEST OF MORTALITY’. THE BEST THINGS ABOUT METAL ARE A) THE BAND/SONG NAMES AND B) THE COVER ART/LINER NOTES/BAND LOGOS. DEFAMER ARE DEFINITELY ONE OF BRISBANE’S BEST METAL BANDS.

DEFAMER WILL PLAY WITH LOADS OF ‘UP-AND-COMING’ BANDS AND GxSxD ON THE FOLLOWING DATES:

riday February 24th – MOON STEP. Tokyo, Japan.
Saturday February 25th – MESCALIN DRIVE. Shizuoka, Japan
Sunday February 26th – CLUB VIJON. Osaka, Japan
Monday February 27th – IMAGE. Okayama, Japan
Tuesday February 28th – KIETH FLACK. Fukuoka, Japan

Thursday March 8th – Hotel Norville (ALL AGES). Toowoomba, Australia.
w/KONSKRIPTOR & ACOREA.

Friday March 9th – The Jubilee Hotel (downstairs). Brisbane, Australia
w/LACERATION MANTRA & THE FEVERED.

Saturday March 10th – The Bald Faced Stag. Sydney, Australia
w/HELL ITSELF & AUTOLYSIS.

http://www.facebook.com/events/347786938574883/

Sunday March 11th (Public Holiday eve) – The Bendigo Hotel. Melbourne, Australia.
w/DENOUNCEMENT PYRE, ORDER OF ORIAS, THRALL & CATACOMBS.

http://www.facebook.com/events/296422760412775/

Monday March 12th – The Pot Belly Bar. Canberra, Australia.
w/MYTILE VEY LORTH & WRETCH.

http://www.facebook.com/events/229806187109162/

Friday March 16th – The Amplifier Bar. Perth, Australia. (Defamer only).
w/CUNTSCRAPE, CLAIM THE THRONE & ANIMISTIC.

IMAGINE BEING IN A BAND CALLED ‘CUNTSCRAPE’. SWEET CHRIST!

GDAY M8Z

HAD A PRETTY GR8 JANUARY AND WENT TO GO SEE ‘THE OLD WIZARD’ HIMSELF J MASCIS AT THE POWERHOUSE. HE PLAYED IN FRONT OF A BIG BRICK WALL SORT OF LIKE WHEN MCBAIN PLAYED IN FRONT OF A BIG BRICK WALL ‘MAYBE YOU ALL ARE HOMOSEXUALS’ BUT J MASCIS ‘THE OLD WIZARD’ PREFERRED TO LET HIS MUSIC DO THE TALKING IN LIEU OF HOMOPHOBIC SLURS. IT WAS FOR THE BEST AND THERE WERE MANY NICE SONGS PLAYED AND HE IS WELCOME BACK ANYTIME!

THEN I WENT TO SEE PORTAL AND RUINS AND ABSU AND THEY WERE ALL REALLY GOOD BUT IT WAS AT THE JUBE AND I DON’T THINK THAT’S THE RIGHT VENUE FOR THESE SORTS OF CRAZED BANDS. ON THE PLUS SIDE I HAD A REALLY NICE KEBAB AFTER THE SHOW AND MY EARS FELT LOUD.

AFTER THIS I WENT TO SEE VIOLENT SOHO AND DICK NASTY PLAY AND IT WAS AT ROSIE’S WHICH IS GOOD BECAUSE A) IT IS RIGHT NEXT TO TIMEZONE SO YOU CAN SNEAK IN A QUICK GAME OF STREETY AND B) THE LIQUOR IS MODERATELY PRICED. IT’S REALLY HOT IN THERE THOUGH AND MY EARS HURT A LOT FROM THE SOUND. THEY FELT VERY LOUD JUST LIKE WHEN I WENT TO GO AND SEE PORTAL AND RUINS AND ABSU (AS EXPLAINED IN THE PREVIOUS PARAGRAPH).

ANYWAY, MOSTLY WHAT I DO RIGHT NOW IS LISTEN TO BISON B.C. AND THE EVERYBODYFIELDS’ COVER OF ‘DOWN TO SEEDS AND STEMS AGAIN BLUES’ WHILST DRINKING 8-10 CUPS OF TEA PER DAY AND FINISHING MY CYBER COURSE ON SMALL BUSINESS MANAGEMENT SO THAT I MAY BE PAID A GRANT BY THE GOVERNMENT TO RUN A BOUTIQUE COFFEE SHOP IN DOWNTOWN ANAHEIM. I AM THINKING ABOUT MAYBE HAVING IT IN CASUARINA INSTEAD. I HAVE ALSO BEEN READING A LOT ABOUT GESTALT PSYCHOLOGY AND PRACTISING CAMMY IN STREET FIGHTER 4 ARCADE EDITION: 2012 REBOOT (OR WHATEVER IT’S CALLED).

THIS WEEK I COMMENCED READING ‘DUNE’ AND MY ‘ANTI-CASSETTE’ FROM MIKE IX WILLIAMS CAME AND I BAKED A CARROT CAKE.

TOMORROW I WILL GO TO BYRON BAY AND THE DAY AFTER THAT I HAVE A PHONE CALL WITH PRINCE TO TRY TO CONVINCE HIM TO COME TO AUSTRALIA SO THAT WE MAY ALL BE FRIENDS. ACTUALLY THAT PART IS A LIE BUT I DO HAVE TO HAVE A STUPID BUSINESS MEETING AND PRETEND I’M NOT A JACKASS.

HOW I HATE YOU ALL!

19

SORRY FRIENDS BUT I AM BACK NOW!

Went to go see Hundred Bay Guys With Swords / DZ Deathrays / Fucked Up at Alahambra lounge or whatever it is called in December and all three bands were so good and I talked to a man who said he is getting a tattoo of ROLAND from the Dark Tower (after his hands got eat by that monster thing on the seaside). Also someone told me that you can’t do the chicken dance when listening ‘It’s FUCKED UP, MAN!’ so he was threatened with a glassing and promptly left.

Red Bacteria Vacuum – [Roller Coaster #03] I’m Just A Breat Girl

What the shit is a Breat Girl? I don’t know, but it’s a good song. I got some new speakers and headphones and 2012 has so far been marked by aural enjoyment and the hearty downloading of FLAC files to pretend I am some sort of knowledgeable chap ‘oh yeah that cymbal sounds so muddy in 320′ .

Sad news includes my lack of attendance at TOXIC HOLOCAUST which was a grave error in judgement and the personal cancellation of ROADBURN 2012 due to waning funds and a court order. Also I smashed a car windscreen with a chair and have big scars on my toes from unknown Merry Xmas frivolities. Also I opened a new box of musli and it was a sub par opening job and now the museli spills everywhere and I tried to find some sort of meusli receptacle to remedy this but they all smelled funny so I have given up and now I just eat bacon and eggs, three meals a day.

Good news includes J MASCIS tomorrow night and PORTAL/ABSU/RUINS on Thursday. Also bought tickets to RYAN ADAMS/JASON ISBELL and I hope they collaborate on an excellent cover, perhaps ‘Ramblin’ Man’ by the Allman Brothers Band, or ‘Ontologically, It Became Time and Space’ by Absu. It’s hard to know the right choice and Adams kinda sucked the last time he was out here but his new record is great and Isbell is the best friend so I remain hopeful.

My favourite 7 songs to listen to in 2012 so far are:

1) Weedeater – Wizard Fight

2) The Jesus and Mary Chain – The Living End

3) Death – Zombie Ritual

4) Buzzov*en – …at A Loss

5) Weedeater – Monkey Junction

6) D-Risha – Ebonics (H-Town)

7) Grime – Born Sick

MOCK-YEAH-ING-YEAH-BIRD-YEAH

I used to post about bands coming to Australia but I got a bit lazy and they keep cancelling, like KARMA TO BURN and MONSTER MAGNET. But mostly I just got lazy.

BORIS is coming and I think I’ll get a ticket. I will go to BLUES AND ROOTS to see LUCINDA WILLIAMS who is America’s jewel, and also JUSTIN TOWNES EARLE and STEVE EARLE who are America’s thorns. Well, Steve Earle is sober now so perhaps he is not a thorn but JUSTIN TOWNES EARLE was here last year and all he kept saying was YA’LL COCAINE SUCKS, like we didn’t already know that. Take a lap! They both sing good songs though.

It’s too fucking hot in Brisbane today. I hope you have a great 2012. You people are everything to me. This could be the end of the line

NUKE THE CROSS!

Good afternoon friends. I have four different things to talk about today and it would be wise to make four different posts for SEARCH ENGINE OPTIMISATION reasons but I just could not be bothered today. I am about to go to the pub.

KURT VILE AND THE VIOLATORS are playing at Woodland tonight and the weather is pretty shitty in Brisbane so I am hoping it is not toooo jam packed. I am simultaneously also crossing my fingers for a big turnout for Mr. Vile so he comes back so it is a case of COGNITIVE DISSONANCE to the highest degree. I checked the Gallup polls and everybody agrees that the best choice is to go and have around 8 Heinekens before anything too interesting happens. Mr. Vile is being supported by BLANK REALM who are really great and some other band I forget but I will check them out and update this post if they were worth listening to.

GRIME are a band from Italy and they play sounds that is best described at HIDEOUS SLUDGE. How could you say no?

BACKWARDS ZOMBIE are an Australian band who have recorded a demo. They are also pretty angry but not as angry as GRIME. This demo is pretty rough but give it a shot!

http://www.mediafire.com/?1s37ct6bbak5sbv

Lastly, MIKE IX WILLIAMS from EYEHATEGOD has released 199 copies of a cassette covered in broken glass where he just talks over angry ambient noise. I love EYEHATEGOD and laughed so much (in a good way) when I saw this so I have procured one for the princely sum of $17.

AAX-039 : Mike IX Williams – Glass Torn and War Shortage: The Purposeful Poisoning of a Shardless Society

From the label’s website: Packaging: Clear rigid plastic cases with white foam insert. Booklet laser-printed on white cardstock and clear transparency paper with stapled spine. Label laser-printed on translucent labels, case wax-sealed with clear wax. Cassette coated in broken glass.

Here’s a picture of Mike IX Williams after performing his world-lauded masterpiece, ‘Glass torn and War Shortage: the Purposeful Poisoning of a Shardless Society’

THE FINISHED PRODUCT

HELLO FRIENDS!

Went to go and visit HARVEST FESTIVAL BRISBANE on the weekend in a MERCURIAL BLAZE. I read a bunch of reviews saying that it wasn’t the best time you can have in Melbourne and/or Sydney due to excessive drink lines, stupid drink tickets, and a dearth of bathroom facilities. Luckily this was not the case in Brisbane and the only problem was a trailblazing heat which dissipated somewhat as the evening progressed into a haze of disgrace, with spilt whiskey and sodden cigarettes the order of the day.

With that said, it really gives me the shits you can only get mid-strength drinks at festivals and sporting events. This fuckin’ country! All the while Julia Gillard is drinking a non-alcoholic beer and it is illegal to drive with your arm out the window. Also there were a lot of tumblr updates to be seen at the gig. Tumblr has got to be the worst thing since Livejournal. What kind of entitled jackass thinks anyone is interested in his garbage opinions? I blame Paul Keating.

Here is a list of the bands I saw and it is in the order of my enjoyment of their songs on the day.

THE FLAMING LIPS
MOGWAI
BRIGHT EYES
TV ON THE RADIO
PORTISHEAD

Portishead are a good band but I don’t really want to listen to gen x dinner party music whilst savaged, so I put them last. They didn’t even play “It’s A Fire” anyway, so they probably have no idea what’s going on in general. The best part about the Flaming Lips was all the balls in the air flying around and there were a couple that appeared to be full of confetti – I was sceptical at the time and it was obvious to me that they were full of bees. Not as good as being full of beers (probably equal levels of danger), but then one popped and there were no bees. A real ‘phew’ moment for young kids trapped in time.

Here is an amazing picture of the best hat a man can wear – a hat I donned that day. I think it’s lost now.

UPDATE: THE HAT IS LOST AT MY FRIENDS’ HOUSE BUT LUCKILY IT CAME WITH MATCHING BOARD SHORTS AND I ATTACH A PICTURE OF THEM INSTEAD.

UPDATE 2: I have a friend (!), Holty, and Holty was once kicking for goal from the sidelines and there was a SCURRILOUS COACH in the background who was heard to say “…useless fuckin’ cunt couldn’t kick a goal as his life depen……………HOLTY!!!!!!!!!!!!!’ and the ball flew through the posts with the greatest of ease. Amazing!

(Conquered Fear To Climb) A Moment Froze In Time

Two Harvest Festival Employees

A Harvest Baby Is Bo...Braised?

Hi!

I’m busy washing cars at the local red light so I can save up for air conditioning, but in the meantime here is some good news – some guys from Japan called Boris are coming to play in Australia 2012. They have lots of different songs so it will be like going to 3 different gigs, especially if you fall down and hit your head on the way in and become disoriented and you are singing along to the song but you think the words are ‘It’s so cold in the D’.

Summer in Australia is usually a pretty good time and there will be lots of good gigs to listen to and some good upcoming gigs include Explosions in the Sky, Kurt Vile and the Violators, Absu w’ Portal, Royal Headache LP launch, anything DZ Deathrays or Dune Rats are doing, and more (depending on whether or not you have fallen down and hit your head on the way in).

Dune Rats are going to play at Big Day Out which is gr8 news but I have a scheduling conflict so fuck a guy! Pow Pow Pow Pow

Boris (Japan) Australia Tour 2012

Buy tickets for Boris at the Hi-Fi here
Buy tickets for Boris at the Hi-Fi here
Buy tickets for Boris at the Hi-Fi here